Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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