"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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