I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
