i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize