what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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