Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
