either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
