yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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