i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
