return my video game
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
a search helicopter?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
