she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
