Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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