Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering

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(407): View more from Florida

this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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(404): View more from Georgia

No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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(707): View more from California

I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

(503): View more from Oregon

How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

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(630): View more from Illinois

It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table

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(+27): View more from South Africa

She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."

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(707): View more from California

I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways

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