your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
