angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
