thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
