If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
