I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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