I haven't been this sober since birth.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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