he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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