Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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