try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm like, not good at living.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
