similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
