Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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