why im i the only drunk person in the library?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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