Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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