is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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