I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
