i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
where am i from again
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
