Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
