these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
