the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
