do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
