He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
