I cockslap morals
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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