is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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