85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
