i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I need water and some morals
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
