i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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