im about as happy as oj after his trial
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
