Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
