Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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