His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
false alarm, still single
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
