this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
