idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
