Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
