you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
