Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you will always have a special place in my vag
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
