Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
