If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
