Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
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