look no pants
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
